Faking It

The above banner I made nearly 3 years ago, for what purpose I can no longer remember.  Although the banner has remained on my desktop for years, mostly unnoticed, over the last few days, each time I get onto my computer, my eyes are drawn towards it.  In my efforts to clean up my desktop, I was left with the decision to file it away or share it.  My choice I suppose is obvious.  It seems to serve well for this posting as well.

Faking It focused on Karma Ashcroft and Amy Raudenfeld, who have tried everything to stand out at Hester High being different is popular. Under the impression that they are closeted lesbians, Shane Harvey invites them to his high school party. Excited to have a chance to join the "in" crowd, they accept. When they are mistakenly outed as lesbians and involuntarily nominated to becoming homecoming Queens, they continue the charade when their popularity soars. While Karma is happy to keep up the lesbian charade and keep her affair with Liam a secret, she has not told Liam that she is faking it with Amy and as time goes on, Amy starts to realize she may truly have feelings for Karma.  Liam was my reason to check out the show, becoming familiar with actor Greg Sulkin when I saw and adored him in the movie White Frog.   Upon watching the pilot episode, I immediately grew to like the show.  The premise is a spin on something that I suppose has been done before, however with Faking It the show goes about this formula differently. 

Everyone fakes something in his or her day-to-day lives, whether intentional or unintentional. Before you argue this with me, think about your response most times to the question, “How are you?”  A majority of the time people respond with the same two words, “I’m fine,” or simply “fine.”  How many times have you said “fine” knowing better that you are feeling either worse or better?  Sometimes it is simply easier to give an automated response. 

Roughly five years ago, I reached a point where life seemed no longer worth living.  I simply had given up.  Nothing was going right and anything that hinged on how it could possibly be made better was not working out as I’d hope it would.  I went through months of pretending I was okay, when really I had given up on life.  I began to get my affairs in order, in the back of my mind thinking that if it wasn’t meant to be that something would happen in my life to give me a reason to live.  What was strange, and something I had not noticed at the time, was this motivated me or at least gave me some purpose. 

As I went through the motions I found myself living and thriving.  I decided that I never wanted to get to that point again in my life and made up my mind to do what I could to live life and try harder to not sweat what I had not control over.  I wrote my first book and with the support and encouragement of my friends, I published it with the hopes some people would want to read it.  The response was more positive than I hoped for and I was inspired to continue writing.  I've had my ups and downs, thankfully more ups than downs.

A few years ago, I finally had enough of what was really dragging me down. I knew that I needed to get out of the toxic environment job I worked, even if it meant giving up security.  I've had my shares of ups and downs, but overall I have been much happier.  Just as I had with other decisions that later worked out for the better for me, I made a change.

Sure there are days that I fake it, as well as days that I feel as if I can't go on.  I have to take the time to refocus myself on what I have rather than on what I do not.  When it comes down to it, life really is what we make of it.  It's not easy, yet I hope to make the best of mine.