So Much Changing, Too Much Changing

This last weekend I ordered my new laptop from Amazon, which will arrive this Friday.  Although I suppose I should be excited, mostly I am saddened.  My life has been enduring many changes I have not been ready for, bring about great stress, restless nights and feeling hopeless at times.  My need for a new computer has been something I knew was going to have to happen, getting 6+ years without any problems besides my USB ports going out and an ever mounting problems occurring each day I knew it was inevitable.

What saddens me the most is the end of something that will always have a special place in my heart.  My Dell Inspirion 17R N7110 17.3" Laptop was where I wrote the first chapters of what would eventually become my first book, Finding Our Way.  When my friends encouraged me to publish, I was at the lowest point of my life ever and feeling hopeless.  Finding Our Way exceeded my expectations and gave me encouragement.  I followed this book up with a second book, Tormented Discover, my longest book to date and it did just as great and boosted the sales of my first book.

Over the years, I have published several other books and stories with varying successes.  T.E.D.: Tim, Eric, and Delsin, a book I felt compelled to write and nearly didn't publish became a best-seller.  It continues to be my most popular books, exceeding the sales of all my other books combined.  Then came two books that are dear to me, Pieces of Us and How It Was Supposed To Be, which have not had success, but I got out of my head and brought them to life and more important have reached some delighted readers.  There have been more started stories, notes and assorted writings than I can count, including a 55,000 word horror story that I was sure I was going to finish until one day when I decided I wanted to put it aside.

Then there is my artwork.  Many scanned images for no other reason than to hang onto.  Others have been commissions and let's not forget the book covers.  I've manipulated, combined, changed and cleaned up numerous drawings. 

The new computer will have a touch screen and will open up other opportunities for creating, drawing and will make it easier to find my way around when I am writing out in the sun.  I will have a larger hard drive so I will not have to continually have to transfer files to my external drive.

I'm going to keep my head up, take a deep breath and try my hardest to think positive.  Just over six years ago no one knew who Jayson James was except for a handful of people.


  1. And yet you should know that outside of your inner struggles are plenty of people, like myself, who feel that your talent, whether it be writing, drawing, or just plain being you, is limitless. I like to think that life has some speed bumps that slow us down a bit, but when we get over them, things level out. I adore you, your work, and take every chance I get to let the world know about your many gifts. The world needs more of you--Janice Hummel


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